This Can Help, Here's How!






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Do you remember the game of “Twenty Questions”?


Well, I think that I can guess about twenty things about you. Here are my twenty questions about who I think is most interested in looking for information at this site.

1.You probably care about someone who has a problem with alcohol or drugs and you want that person to get help.

2.You are looking for information you can use “right away”.

3.Using the Internet gives you some privacy while you are trying to find out more about what to do, and you like that.

4.If I had a “magic wand” that would end the problem, you would use it.

5.You already know magic wands aren’t real. And, you aren’t wasting time looking for one. But, it is so hard to get USUABLE information about what to do!

6.It is hard to tell who you can trust to give you information about a situation that can “blow up” and get worse so easily.

7.Many of the information sources offer services at their facility, and you don’t have the money for that kind of help.

8.  You have been frustrated for a long time now. A very long time! But, you know that if you don’t get some answers real soon, you’ll get depressed and do nothing.

9.  You want to know enough to help this person but you don’t have the energy or time to become an expert who can solve the problem.

10.  You are willing to follow directions but only if you trust the directions and they are understandable. And, they won’t make things worse.


You have found the right site. We can help you!

How can we help you?

1.By giving you information that applies to your problem without “identifying” you personally.

2.By letting you pick through the available information and building your own information base.

3.By letting you set the pace - You come and go on your schedule.

4. By making suggestions about what good treatment is all about so you can make informed decisions.

5.By not offering treatment. You can learn enough to make treatment decisions based on your own individual infomation.

6.By warning you about the obvious problems and things to avoid when you are trying to help someone else.

7.By also reminding you that you have POWER over only one person. YOURSELF. You can only guarantee your own behavior and you have to take care of yourself.

8 . If you don’t take care of yourself first, the well runs dry and you have nothing to offer anybody else. Empty is empty. Fill up your own tank before you run dry.

9.So, even though this is about getting help for someone else, it is also about getting help for you as well.

12.A good start is creating two folders to store information in. One for you and one for the person you want to get help.

12.Only you know if it is safe to store the information where it is in the open. If it isn’t safe and you have to “hide” the file, think about this. Make the first piece of information in the file an explanation about why you created the file and why you hid it. If they find it, your explanation will be the first thing they see.

12.Keep in mind - unreasonable resentments are a part of the problem, so you may be unfairly accused of a lot of things, regardless of what your explanation might be.

13.Drug and alcohol problems do not “get better” because of wistful thinking. They get better because something changes.

14.You can learn what needs to change and how to apply that information in the best possible way.

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Better still, subscribe to our free newsletter so the latest updates will be sent directly to your e-mail address. If having information like this delivered to your regular e-mail address is likely to be a cause for conflict, then your problem is more complex and your safety is at risk.

Consult a professional who can help you with issues of codependence, abuse, and domestic violence risk assessment. There is a progression of domestic abuse that goes from verbal / emotional to physical over time. When that is combined with impairment  the risks for assault or injury increase.

Please get additional help if you are not allowed to read information without the risk of conflict. The larger issue you are dealing with is control and your longer-term safety is involved.


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Copyright  © Stephen Buchness 2005